Why Is She With Him?

 

Why is she with him?

What does he want from her?

You need to ask her what she’s doing. She’s old enough to understand.

She’s not that innocent. Ask her what she’s doing.

All the love she has – it’s like she’s blocking what she really needs from the ones who love her. But he’s providing for a deep need temporarily. She provides for his needs also.

Why is she with him?

I asked her why and she couldn’t answer.

I asked her why and she couldn’t answer.

Her proclamations of not knowing proceed the silence.

The dimness in her eyes divulges sentiments she refrains from sharing. I don’t know that she can articulate the sentiments that are there. Maybe she can’t answer because in her 16-year-old mind, she hasn’t learned the vocabulary to describe her complexities. She counts herself out of the possibilities of knowing and caring. My fury over her arises from seeing the effects of living for now.

So I asked him about his intentions for my sister.

He states that he wants to be there for her.

The skin inside my throat becomes elastic and slides to my stomach. Does he know what she needs? I hear her crying, “Parent me.” She found someone to take her in.

Searching for something spiritual in the natural realm opened the doors of exploration in the bodies of one another. She’s in search of something supernatural. She and her boyfriend become captive to each other. She can’t even get off the phone. Even the sound of his snoring on the other end of soothes her – because he is there.

Why is she with him?

I’m afraid she’s trading her brilliance for dimness. I’m afraid she won’t remember what I’ve told her from a sister’s concerned heart. I’m afraid she’ll forget the care-freedom of swinging along ribbons of wind when her face is on the ground.

I promised myself to wipe her nose when she falls. But I am not God.

I can only hope that He sends rain for the seeds I have sown in the form of words. I can only hope that she sees me moving as we navigate similar difficulties.

When I see her smile, I know it’s not too late. Maybe her boyfriend will see what I see. Maybe he will want more for her life than a surface-satisfying relationship. In the meantime, I’ll find the goodness in each day that we are apart. I’ll cherish our time together while you are searching – until you decide to come home.

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