Today’s youth have the ultimate experience of opting into comfort. They can order almost any item they can afford from the phones without having to leave their location to receive their order. They can ease out of tolerance-building discomfort (those found in physical education, the arts, and sports) with claims of pain and injury. They can ditch discipline and commitments as they default to using language that describes attention deficits, neurodivergence, and the quality of the examples they have in their immediate environment. But what happens when these young people graduate high school and enter the workforce? What will their love ethic and attentiveness to life look like? Will they begin in satisfying careers with the skillsets to pivot into more advanced positions? Or will they settle for what is available given their capabilities?
Every generation gives birth to “the haves and have nots.” The developing “haves” are the ones who lift the cognitive loads, apply the emotional intelligence, go the extra mile, and set boundaries with their language and media consumption. They discipline their hearts and bodies to contribute to the wellbeing of their families and communities. They’re imperfect. Yet, they seek not perfection. They seek wholeness.
What are some meaningful ways to bring these young people into their present moment?
- Purse what interests your teens with them. The time you actively spend with your child enjoying them positively impacts the emotional quality of their autobiographical memory.
- Listen to the why that drives their desire to succeed. On the contrary, listen also to the motivations that interfere with their pursuit of personal growth and fulfillment.
- Lean into the moments you discover your child’s behavior differs from your expectation of your child. Hold yourself with self-compassion while you hold your child in love. Identify the emotions you experience as you listen and take those to your Creator in prayer. Address the event accordingly.
- Co-create experiences with your child that generate mutual understanding, respect, and deeper appreciation.
- Be steadfast. Don’t give into doubts, worries, impatience, and frustration. Don’t give in because your children want you to win.
Don’t leave them to their devices to figure out the questions you refuse to answer. Seek guidance on how to skillfully answer. Teach them how to use what you give them – especially their phones. Laugh together. Cry together. Pause together. Solve problems together. Rest together. Though anxiety is on the rise, love that is reflected in truth and training can uplift the mind and heart, loosening the grips of distress.
Coming next: “How to get those teens moving when they don’t feel like it” and “tips for keeping your child safe online and in person.”
Ashley M. Blanco 